stats really do stink on sunday. and other random stuff

1. I had an awesome, relaxing, and completely fun filled Thanksgiving.

2. Going with the flow and being flexible is much more enjoyable then setting a rigid schedule and demanding that other people stick to it.

3. Had breakfast with my bff from Virginia on Saturday. One of the highlights of my week.

4. Dipping my big toe back into the dating pool. Surprisingly enough, not as weird as I feared it would be.

5. Christmas is - and has always been - my favorite holiday. I'm going back to Philly again this year. Can't wait. I even have a new winter coat for which I didn't have to fork over an arm and a leg. (Go Kohl's BF sale!)

6. Hopefully I now have an adequate wardrobe. I think I've replaced it 4 times in the past year. Last thing on the list: boots. Next stop: Payless.

Have a blessed week. (((HUGS)))

stats stink sunday

Yeah, the weeks go by soooo fast.

1. Sad I couldn't go to the FBL Church Picnic. Miss my peeps there.
2. On Saturday, I got my haircut, went clothes shopping, car maintenance, and more shopping...then the Divorce Care group had a special session called Surviving the Holidays. So it was a busy, full day and I was exhausted at the end of it.
3. I am writing this to put off actually writing my six page Lit paper, due Wednesday.
4. The sky is black. Has been for a while. Rain already. Sheesh.
5. I have the house to myself this week. Kinda weirdly quiet.
6. I need a new dictionary. The one I have doesn't list the word "bricolage". Don't ask me what it means: I don't know -- it's like my dictionary WANTS me to be illiterate.
7. I am going to South Africa next fall. It's all a God thing. He's awesome.
8. Looking for cheap airfare to go home for Christmas, and yes, I HAVE checked whatever website you're going to suggest.
9. I keep intending on writing a post on something spiritually significant from the beginning of the month, but with school and work and other stuff overshadowing, I haven't put the time in that it deserves. Maybe on Thanksgiving.
10. David Crowder was over the top awesome. Had a great time. :)

Stats Stink Sunday...

Yah, still the same drill:

1. In the middle of reading Virginia Woolf's Jacob's Room. Very confusing. Reminds me of those pictograms my Dad used to go ape over...You know, the ones where you see these bright, geometrical designs, but a picture is hidden in the background and you have to unfocus your eyes to actually see it?

2. My sinuses are still draining. I'm ready for this to be OVER.

3. I finally hooked up my laptop to my new tv. Now I can use the tv as an external monitor. I can also use my laptop to play dvds on my tv. Hooray for modern technology. I can't believe I put up with that old tube tv for a whole year.

4. I found out that if I unplug the sound connector that hooks my laptop to the tv sound system, I can plug it into my ipod and play my ipod through my tv speakers. Awesome. Welcome to techonology 2009, Gillian.

5. I went to a partylight party Saturday night and won the door prize. Woohoo!! Since I never win ANYTHING, I was quite pleased. It is a silver lamp. Will look v nice in my new room. When I get to the new room, I'll post pics.

6. Went to Ikea today and am going to spring for a new bedframe, dresser, shelving units, desk and chair when I move in with Tonya. Just doing my part to contribute to economic recovery, y'all...

7. Sick of living in apartments. Looking forward to moving in with Tonya and living in a HOUSE!!!

Blessed....

So its been a raw week...lots of ups and downs. It started last Wednesday when I woke up a 4am feeling like I had razor blades in my throat. Turns out it was a sinus infection. Caught it fairly early, so I should be in good shape for not missing work. Plus, found out the official weight loss is up to 72lbs. Not a bad day. I'm contagious, so I get to work from home on Wednesday.

Thursday I woke up feeling like I had been hit by a Mac truck. Called out sick. Slept most of the morning. I ended up going to class Thursday night, only because I was getting a little stir crazy in my apartment. I had a scheduled day off on Friday, so I slept in, took it easy.

Friday night and Saturday morning, FBL had a Women's Conference called: Women who Trust. It was awesome!! For me, it was confirmation that I heard God correctly when I heard Him tell me to change churches and move to Riverview. I am taking a leap of dangerous faith since I love living by myself, and would never have thought that being in a new church would be a good thing for me at this stage in my life.

Saturday night (still feeling pretty yukky) I went to The Crossing for service. Now, I'm a little stubborn, and rather passive-aggressive at times. When I knew God was calling me there, I got an attitude...I was thinking, "Okay, God, I'll go, cause you're telling me. I'll even be happy because I know it's Your will, but I'm NOT jumping right into ANYTHING. I'll get involved after my divorce care class is over." (That will be in December.) The message was all about getting involved in a LifeCare group. NOW. Oy vey, I give up. I'm not going to stubbornly ignore God THIS time -- Life's too painful when I do that.

Sunday I slept in for the first time in almost 5 years...it was lovely.

My emotions really are on a roller coaster at the moment. It's better now than it was a month ago, when I was wallowing in my funk. I think it'll be a couple of more weeks until they stabilize again. I've been badly hurt, and I need to take time to heal. (Divorce care says 1 year for every 4 years of marriage...) One thing I've learned: I can't rush the healing process. (Cue the music: Only LOVE can Break the HEART, only LOVE can MEND it agaaaiiinnnn.) I've been broken, and only God and His love can put me back together, and make me function better than before.

(((HUGS)))
G

Microwaves and Cell phones only mix if you're three...

Text messages between me and my friend Sandi:

Sandi: My kids have never put pb sandwich in VCR or toys n toilet, but Hanna did cook Jesse's phone in microwave.

Me: OMG!! Is it totally fried??

Sandi: Yup! It smokes when you try 2 turn it on!
Sandi: Even the microwave is toast

Me: LOLOLOLOL!!!! Sorry. LOLOLOL!! You know I'm totally blogging this.

Sandi: What's a blog?

the highlight of my week...

well, there was more than one, so here goes...

Monday: Went out to Zephryhills Correctional Institute with the FBL choir and did our worship musical for the prisoners. They were awesome, and we had an absolute BLAST!! Best experience I've ever had participating as a worship leader.

Wednesday: The Bloggess finally published one of my questions. Just so you know, it was a joke (unless you actually ASK me about my ex -- then I'll get all stabby on you), and her response gave me the BEST belly laugh.

(((HUGS)))
G

the promised weight loss blog...

A lot of people have approached me lately asking how I lost so much weight. Getting the total from the doctor last week was so cool! 64 lbs is a small child.

After my ex moved out, I knew I needed to take time for myself. I desperately needed emotional and mental healing. Living with an alcoholic for 11 years takes its toll on your psyche. I decided to join a Bible study called "Get Thin, Stay Thin". The premise of the study is that we all have a silent hunger that only God can fill, and we try to fill it with other things: Food, alcohol, drugs, shopping, smoking -- you name it. I recognized that in myself, and went to work on three things:
1. Eating only when I was truly hungry. Yes, this meant waiting until my stomach was absolutely growling before I would eat.
2. Stopping when I was comfortable. This meant eating slowly and paying attention to my body.
3. Turning to God and praying through the negative emotions so I would not stuff food in my mouth when I didn't need it.

There were some things that naturally happened as a result in the changes to my lifestyle. For instance: Every weekend we would hit a bar, pig out on fried foods, and drink. We also had deep fried take out at least once or twice during the week. After he left, I stopped doing that. Not that I avoided fried foods completely, but it was a once-in-a-while occurrence, rather than a daily thing. I cut alcohol out of my life completely (it has a high sugar content) which has been a huge help to the weight loss.

A lovely woman at church gave me a book called Fit for Life. I picked it up in January (I was approximately 40 lbs down at this point) and decided it was a bit extreme. I intended on trying it for a while and seeing how it went, but I always seemed too busy to follow the principles. One thing that did catch my eye, though, was the promise that it could alleviate allergy symptoms. On February 27, after being diagnosed with yet another sinus infection, I decided to go for it.

Primarily my diet is now fresh fruit and raw vegetables. I eat very little bread and meat, although pasta is still part of my daily diet (more for convenience than anything else). I have lost approximately 20 more pounds since switching, and I feel a LOT healthier. I have lots more energy.

I threw my bathroom scale in the dumpster when I moved out of my last apartment. I don't want to measure my success in terms of pounds, but am choosing instead to just, well, let it be. I feel good that I am losing weight, especially since I have dropped 5 clothing sizes since last summer. Ultimately, though, I feel a lot better about myself. The weight loss is just a by-product of that. I am in a "safe" environment now, and God is working wonders in my life.

Here are some more pics that represent the journey.


June 2008


January 2009

April 2009

July 2009
Now:

The sobering, the good, the funny, and the down right hilarious...

The sobering:
I emptied my mailbox after ignoring it for over a week, which is kinda normal for me. I think my mailman hates me. Anyways, divorce court officially notified me that our final hearing is May 21st. I already knew that. Hubby texted me at work last Friday to tell me. What was sobering is they tell you how much time they set aside for the hearing. Ten minutes. Ten minutes to end 11 years of marriage. How bout that.

The good:
School semester is finally over. I didn't study all weekend even though my facebook friends were lied to misled about that on Sunday. I actually went through the four tests we took during the semester on Monday and Tuesday nights, looked over another on Wednesday during lunch, and then went and took the test. My grade on the final exam was a 90, which pulled my shaky overall "B" up onto more solid ground. You may wonder why this was so important. Here you go:
1. The CLAST exam -- Florida's way of wringing more money out of its adult students is to force them to take a College Level Academic Skills Test. There is a math and an english section. I was already exempt from the English section because of all my English courses that transferred in from Temple University. The Math section is another story. I had not fulfilled my liberal arts requirements in Math, so no exemption there. I have had a CLAST hold put on my registration every semester since I reenrolled in school. I even sat through the CLAST and missed passing by SEVEN lousy points...sheesh. To be exempt, you have to have a 2.5 or better in two math classes. Stats is listed as one of those classes. The letter grade "B" puts me in the category of 3.0, so yay to the "B".
2. Reimbursement -- Work will only reimburse the course if you receive a letter grade of "B" or better.
3. Pride -- Pure and simple, I really didn't want to fail at anything. I have been humbled though, because that grade was made possible only through prayer.

The Funny:
I met Heather and Shayne during my first semester back in school. We used to sit through the boring tech writing class and laugh constantly. Since then, Heather and I have taken every writing class together (5 total), and Shayne has been in a couple of our classes too.

Last night Heather and Shayne had a final in a literature class they were taking together, and I had my Stats final. We hooked up afterwards at my favorite TexMex place, Tia's and hung out for a bit. I had my camera, and we had a blast. Heather took six pictures of me and Shayne together, and not ONE turned out well...They made me laugh the whole night, and I realized that I really am so much happier than I was a year ago.

Anyways, eating after 8pm is normally a huge no-no for me, and I remembered why at 3:30 in the morning when mild indigestion woke me up. After 1/2 an hour of tossing and turning, I got up and did my daily devotion. This morning on facebook, my status read:
NOTE TO SELF: No texmex btwn 8-10pm. It causes indigestion at 3:30am. NOTE TO SELF #2: Buy alka seltzer.

I finished reading and praying by 6am, so I set my alarm to go off in an hour and dosed off. I think what followed was hilarious, but I am giddy from lack of sleep.

The hilarious:
During my dosing time between 6am and 7am, I dreamed that my ex moved into my dining room. All his stuff: Bed (queen sized) book shelves (he doesnt own more than a couple of books) and a couple of chairs. Mind you, I live in a one bedroom apartment with about 800 sq ft. My dining room wouldn't accomodate most table and chairs, let alone a full set of furniture.

I was worried (in my dream) that I had woken him up by getting up at 4:00 with indigestion. He assured me this was not the case. I asked him when he was leaving, and he indicated that he wasn't planning on it. I told him he had to be out by the end of May, and started pointing out all the stuff he had to take with him when he goes. I woke up when my neighbors pounded on the door to ask why I was screaming.

Anyways, thats a REALLY long post. All that to say I'm so blessed to have people in my life who care, who make me laugh out loud, and who smack me around when I'm being stupid. You know who you are, and I love you.

Disconnected connectivity....

I've not been able to access Facebook for a full week now. I am extremely disappointed in the Facebook team's inability to respond to my 10 emails screaming for help. My requests for password resets have not yielded any responses to my inbox, causing me to worry that my account has been hijacked by scammers. The lack of response from the Facebook has been disconcerting to say the least. Meanwhile, I suffer withdrawal. I had no idea just how addicted I had become to the instant access to my family and friends who live 1400 miles away. I also wonder if anyone misses me out there in cyberworld. Just in case you do, here is what is going on in my life.

1. School will be over on April 25th. I am looking forward to this with unprecedented longing. I think I might survive (and even pass) my Basic Stats class. At this point, I really will be happy to pass. If I achieve the 2.5 needed to be exempt from the CLAST exam, Philadelphians will hear me screaming with joy from Florida. My other class, Advanced Technical Writing is winding down with an enormous project that is due on April 20th. I haven't even started it, partly because there is one section that has me completely stumped. I am going to camp out in the University Library this Saturday and try to make sense of it all.

2. Choir preparation for Easter Sunday. Sometime in January, our worship leader announced that the choir was starting preparation for Easter Sunday and would meet Wednesday nights after the church service. Perfect timing. My class on Wednesday nights let out at 7:20, allowing me JUST enough time to get to church for choir. I fell in love with a couple of the songs we are singing this weekend, and somehow, I opened up my big mouth and ended up with a solo part.

I have never thought of myself has having a great voice, but this song is compelling to me, and I am happy to be singing it. Its my first solo, and I had no idea my nerves could hit such a fever pitch. I stood up to sing it in practice on a Wednesday night, and my hands were shaking so badly I almost couldn't hold my microphone. I think I'm finally ready -- I'd better be, because the show goes on tomorrow night. I just pray for the Holy Spirit to fill me up and use me during this time. Because when you get down to brass tacks, this isn't really about me. It's about Christ, His death, and resurrection. It's about the One who reigns in my life.

3. Thursday nights I attend The Well. This is my midweek gut check on where I am with my relationship with Christ. Aside from awesome Bible studies, The Well gives me a chance to connect with other women, hear about their walks, and share prayer burdens.

In case you are wondering about my schedule: Every day I leave my house at 7:20 am. On Mondays I get home around 8pm, Wednesdays 10pm, and Thursdays 9:30 pm. Most people would tell me to give something up. And if my circumstances were different, I would. But that Thursday night gut check is priceless, I love to sing, so the choir is really enjoyable, and I need to complete my education -- thus the reason for my grueling schedule -- all of which comes to a screeching halt on April 25th.

Over the month of May, I plan on taking some time and reevaluating what I really want to keep on my plate, and what I want to give up. Meantime, at least I'm not hanging out on Facebook all night when I should be doing other things. The only problem seems to be that blogs are replacing my facebook addiction...I'm such a junkie. I love the internet. :) Even in my disconnected state, I'm still connected.

But I do miss my facebook friends. Leave me some comments. Let me know how you are doing. :0)