Saying "Yes" to God...

My New Year's resolution is to say Yes! to God. Last year I committed to a deeper prayer life, and saw some pretty amazing changes occur. This year, I decided if I don't want God to discipline me the hard way, I had better develop better "listening" skills and say "YES" when I heard Him speak.

I had plans. Funny how I keep doing that. I think God must just shake His head and smile when I do that. Don't think for one moment I am saying it's not good to have goals, and work towards them. However, we need to be flexible enough to recognize when the plan isn't what we should be doing. I have a goal: have my degree by my 36th birthday. To reach that goal, I need to complete 10 classes by May 2011. There are (with 3 summer sessions) 5 semesters before I hit the big three-six. My plan was to take 3 this semester, 3 in the summer, 2 in the fall and 2 in the spring. The problem with the plan is it does cost money. While my company provides tuition reimbursement, not all the costs are covered, and the money still needs to be paid upfront. Up till this semester, I would put it on my credit card, then pay it back at the end of the semester.

Putting the tuition on my credit card will not work this semester. Nor do I have cash on hand to pay $1600 (not including books) up front for tuition. So I have a choice: Get a loan or take fewer classes. I wrestled with this, and finally put in an application for a loan.

Meantime, I have also been looking for ways to get involved with my church. I have been attending services since September, and am looking for ways to serve the local body. I already know I am going to South Africa next fall, but I also wanted to volunteer locally. Like usual, I have been praying sincerely for guidance, because I do not want to put a foot wrong in this matter. Last night, during the Communion service, I got my answer. Take only one class (online) and sign up for Leadership Development Training at the Church. Get involved with the intercessory (prayer) team.

So there you have it. Just like that, the plan has changed. It's going to be an interesting, exciting year. I am saying YES to God in this matter. I am diving in, going deep, letting go of the status quo, and whatever else you might want to call it. I know some people who read this will think I'm crazy. But I keep thinking: "In light of ETERNITY, which is more important? Saying YES to God, or getting a college degree?" Worldly wisdom vs Godly wisdom. No contest there.

Spiritual Gifts

Last August I somehow became involved in the College Ministry. It's an interesting story of me drifting aimlessly into the youth leadership planning meeting and leaving with the vague idea that I would be co-leading the group. While things didn't exactly work out that way, and the Children's ministry pulled me away for a whole month, I am now spending my time with the college kids, building relationships.

One of the students, still a fairly new christian, wanted to investigate the subject of spiritual gifts, so the teacher collaborated with one of the pastors and we ended up with a packet of information to sift through, and some dvds to watch.

The booklets begin with 129 statements and a rating scale of 1-5. The instructions are to label each statement according to the rating scale: 1 is least like you and 5 is most. Through lots of complicated instructions and processes I won't detail here, you could easily see on a grid all of the spiritual gifts, and which one was strongest for you. Mine was encouragement. But I already knew that. I took a very similar test in Atlanta 7 years ago, and had the exact same gift. What did surprise me was the 2 runners up. In the prior test they were Hospitality and Service. This time it was Faith and Evangelism. I know my faith is very strong, and I know I have come a long way from my upbringing, but I had no idea I would score so highly in the evangelism category. I will address the reasons for surprise in a future blog.

Overall, although the test was helpful, it served only to confirm to me what the Holy Spirit was already working in me during the past six months. My gifts and personality traits (there was a personality test in the packet also) are uniquely suited to things like choir, prayer, counseling, and discipleship. It struck me today as we were watching one of the dvd lessons that go along with the packet: part of the reason I have a fountain of joy in the middle of pain is because I am following the Spirit's lead. I am actively encouraging people, began prayer walking in January, and am currently building relationships that will hopefully have an influence on others' walks with Christ.

All this is not to toot my own horn, but to encourage you to pray and ask God for direction in where and how you should serve. You should not be feeling frustrated and burnt out over what you are doing for Jesus, but instead feel fulfilled. I know my spiritual journey in the last year has taken me down a very strange path. But now, in the middle of great stress (school, divorce, and other stuff) I have indescribable JOY.

Women of Influence

Mother's Day is coming. I have a question: Is there a woman (other than mom) who has had tremendous influence on you? If so, who was it and how?

I wrote in an earlier post about how God was pressing me to prayer. January, I started getting up early on Sunday mornings, riding up to church and doing a prayer walk before services started. This was not my idea. Pure and simple, I would never have thought of it on my own.

Aside from Susie Walther, the woman who has single-handedly had the most influence on my spiritual walk was Karen Shogren. I met Karen when I was living in Georgia, attending Crossroads Community Church. I don't remember exactly HOW we met, but she invited me to join her and a team of people on Saturday nights in praying over the church. Karen described herself as a prayer warrior. It sounded a little strange to me, this praying over the church, but at the same time it made perfect sense. Each Saturday night, the pastor, worship leader, and a small group of people would gather in the sanctuary. We would lay hands on the pastor and worship leader and pray over them. Then everyone would take a section, and every chair in the sanctuary would get prayed over. We would then spread out through the classrooms and pray over those, also.

One Sunday morning I met Karen just before service and she was radiant. I had never seen anyone look so beautiful, and whenever I think of her, this is how I see her. She was glowing. I told her so, and her response was that she had just spent some intense time in prayer meeting with God.

My prayer walk feels very humble at the moment. It is just me and God. But recently, after I completed my weekly walk, and came into the sanctuary for worship/service, someone greeted me and said, "You look RADIANT!" It was the nicest compliment anyone has ever paid to me. I had just had a pretty intense encounter with God. I wouldn't trade my time with Him for all the sleep in the world.

I moved away from Georgia, and lost touch with Karen. It's been 6 years since I've seen her. I am in the process of shutting down my hotmail account, and came across some emails from her. The memory of her example and encouragement came flooding back. I tried to email her, but the address I had was no longer valid.

I just established a new facebook account, and one of the first things I did was look for Karen. I thought it was a long shot, but lo and behold, there she was. The first person to pop up on the search list. I let out a scream and clicked the "add to friends" button as quickly as possible.

Whether Karen and I reestablish relationship or not, I will always remember her example. I am a part of her spiritual fruit, and what I produce is due, in part, to her example. This is my lesson for the week: whether you know a person for a short time or for a lifetime, there's always time to influence him or her for spiritual good.

Thanks, Karen. If I never do get to meet you again here, I will definitely see you in heaven!!